Are we living in a parallel universe?

The concept of the parallel universe is one that I find fascinating, and while I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it, when the thought comes, I mash about it in my head and form different connections between the concept of existing in different places at the same time and what we know now. For me, I am inclined to think that we are explaining the same concept in different words/different ways - quantum physics gives its explanations, religion gives its own, philosophy says something different and psychoanalysis provides another interpretation.

So you may ask, "what brought this thought about?", well yesterday, I was reading Scott Adam's (the creator of Dilbert - the comic strip) blog http://www.dilbert.com/blog/entry/gods_matchbox/ and the interesting comments that were given, again on whether things exist through luck or even through randomness...and then I started to think about schroedinger's cat - the theory on how something can be both alive and dead at the same time (different states of being), and then I thought okay, maybe it might be something to do with the timings and different timezones, but I don't really understand Schroedinger's cat, so I interpret it as how until you are told otherwise, something remains the same to you, e.g. someone being ill or even until you learn about a different concept, you never fathomed it existed (unknown unknowns). 

And then I thought how about dreams - are our dreams another world, or do we inhabit the dream world and this actual world we think we inhabit is something different? Or even what is consciousness, unconsciousness and sub-consciousness? In our dreams, we sometimes foresee things that happen in our actual world (so again, is this Schroedinger's cat theory?) or perhaps the dream world is a more advanced, less time constrained one (think how you can move forward, and backward in time in your dreams quite rapidly), or perhaps maybe the dreams are where our thoughts that are inhibited in actual world, are allowed to flow freely and speak to us (FreudSpeak now). 

The whole concept is fascinating and deeply interesting, but when I got to questioning whether or not animals dreamt, I decided to stop. Not so much because it is not possible - I think they do, but it surely must be very difficult to analyse their dreams, as communication with us is limited. Or actually, maybe they don't dream so much but have other heightened senses that allows them to see things happening now, tomorrow and further into the future...okay, I'll stop now.

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Untitled

Sometimes, just as I am about to nod off to sleep, some words form in my mind, and I reach out for my BB phone and type them in the memo pad, and record it. Times like these,  I wake up the next morning forgetting I had written this, aand then as the day grows older, the memory of the last night pops in, sort of like a new 'you've got mail', and I decide whether to put on my blog or not.

Today, I decided to place on the blog. Enjoy

______________________________________

You slammed the door shut as you left

I did not follow you

Holding on to the remaining parts of my dignity

Like a pack of straws

A pack of dry brittle straws

That was being broken off bit by bit

Furtively, I looked around me

Habit formed to see if anyone else had noticed.

No one had.

No one else was present

And then I wept

Not because you were not coming back

nor was it because I could not fathom life without you

I wept because I did not know what else to do.

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Transitions

Sometimes, once in a while, although now more often than before, I think about transitions. The different changes that friends and family are experiencing or about to experience in their lives, and how they are dealing with it, some appear to have it all under control and take new challenges in their stride. Others do not talk so much about it but you can tell that they are excited. The final group , and I include myself in that group, are just simply bewildered  and don't understand how life moved on from being understood to being complex and confusing. 

Frankly, I am scared of it all. The thought of finishing PhD and moving onto the next phase of my life frightens me, particularly as I am unsure exactly what shape it will all take and the decisions on where to live, what to do first, whether to start a new business, work in consultancy, work in industry, what industry - tourism, financial services or academia or if it is possible to do a combination of all three (best combination), where should these all happen etc? Sometimes, there is such a thing like having too much choice and as I was telling a friend recently, this globalised world of ours can be to blame.

Now,  I am also a woman so I know that at some point, I will marry someone and have children, and some of my friends are in that phase already and I really respect them. I think it is a bold move. They are courageous - choosing someone to spend the rest. THE REST of your life with is WOW! Or perhaps they have just let life happen without analysing and second-guessing every move. Even if it is the latter, I respect them because that in itself is a form of strength. 

Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to the 30s, and 40s and 50s and 60s - 90s (if I should live that long), but I feel that the stage from late 20s - early 30s (from my teeny weeny pool of friends) is frankly the most confusing yet defining phase of life.

Or perhaps again, I am just over thinking this.

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Lesser beings, greater beings

Right, okay. There have been some things that have been floating around my head and a constant conversation point with one of my friends. It might not make a whole load of sense, and it might, and we might not necessarily agree, but I think these things should be spoken about.

So I like nature and jogging and the outdoors. I try to combine all 3, i.e. by jogging outdoors in the woods. And recently, I went jogging and I saw some swans in the lake. And I thought, to these swans, their entire conceptualisation of the world is the lake that they are in. And I saw some squirrels running around some trees, and thought about that too. So also perhaps it can be about our world, our life, our faith. And if we can move it further (as discussed with another friend), the concept of 4D comes. So because we see things in 3-dimensions does not mean that the 4th dimension does not exist. 

What then does it mean? I don't have the answers, I am not sure if anyone particularly does. But I know that "There are known knowns and unknown unknowns" (yes Rumsfeld, this quote is actually appropriate here!) i.e. there are things we do not know that we do not know. So we cannot always speak in absolutes. We can only always speak from a limited position, and this calls for humility.

One of my friends asked if this means I believe in the concept of demiurge (where there is a creator of the world/world created from chaos). I replied that "I don't know much about it. I am trying not to think about how the world was created or how it will end. Focusing on the here and now. but I do think that there are definitely greater beings than us (maybe what we refer to as angels/demons) - you know. like how we can have good/bad people that do good/bad things so the goat being killed might think that you know, the person killing it is evil. I think it is replicated like that throughout life, or to the animals in the forest when deforestation is happening." and then I decided to write this blog.

What I do know is that it will be helpful if we discussed this more, and tease out basic accepted concepts, to really know what we believe/stand for, and come to the process of a deeper, more humble understanding of concepts that relate to our world, and then we will see that there are more things that unite us than separate us. 

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Smile

I was sitting on the tube recently, coming from the library I think, or perhaps it might have been from the office. That does not matter. I was going home, from somewhere.

And next to me was the most delightful little baby. She was clearly very curious about her world. I know babies are usually very curious, but she had this exceptional way of intently gazing at me as I tried reading something on my phone. And I tested her (silly I know), by changing the screen of my phone, and you could see her mentally trying to understand what had happened, in that way that only babies can, their guileless approach to life where they can show you what they are thinking, so to speak.

And it was beautiful in as much as it was powerful. I doubt I shall meet her again, but I have a strong feeling that she will be a very intelligent interactive participant in her world, and that made me smile.

I shall stop there, as I don't want to think of how life can influence this, how the educational process, university, etc might even interfere with this innate curiosity about the world. I will leave it as a beautiful, magical encounter that made me smile. Truly, deeply smile.

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Peace within the storm

The whole of life can be chaotic, we are conditioned to expect to view life through the lenses of competitions, assessments, ranking, peer pressure. There are many proverbs and wise sayings on the race of life, finishing best, racing through life, etc.  Little wonder that many of us experience crises. There are quarter-life crisis, mid-life crisis, mid-career crisis, just to name a few. I understand that there are many reasons for these crises, and again, a 500 word post is not suffice to tackle them all.

I think it helps to view life through the lenses of an experience, the life experience, where we have many different parties that help to form this experience. Each person's life experience is unique. It has to be. We have different interests, backgrounds and habits. Even my brother and I have different life experiences, and he is the only person in the world that I can say has remotely similar backgrounds to me, I mean, we have the same parents so that is a start! Yet, his experience of  life is markedly different from mine.

This little and seemingly simply concept of unique life experiences has many ramifications for how we approach our life. What do we want from life? What do we want our life experience to be? How do we react to not-so-positive situations in relationships, careers and health? 

I think the first step is a move to attaining inner peace. That sense of inner tranquillity and inner self-awareness, inner self-confidence. This can take different steps and it is quite reflective and emotionally and psychologically challenging, as you need to go within yourself, to understand why you respond or react in a certain way, understanding and evaluating your responses to different situations. In light of this, trying to understand what makes you happy, truly happy. For me, I have tried to find happiness in the simple things of life, music, flowers, nature. This works as rather than basing happiness on material goods, where I can be 'unhappy' if I don't have that bag, etc; happiness is a state of appreciation of nature, of God.

Yes, happiness and peace are different concepts, but they are not unrelated. You can be truly happy only when you have inner peace. Think about it, when you feel sad? Why do you feel sad? Can you be in a place of inner peace and still feel sad? I think not. This is not to say that there are not-so-positive things happening, but it is just that, viewing them as events in the life experience, that one has the power to choose whether to internalise these feelings, and thus feel sad, or whether to see them as events that come and go.

I think this mindset helps to have peace, even amidst the "hustle and bustle" that is life.

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On Family and friends

Proverbs 18:24 says that "there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother" and has been quoted countless times as the reason why it is better to rely on your friends than on your family. Another popular quote "friends are the family that you choose for yourself" will appear to support this point. I can understand this and I tend to agree with it, for the most parts.

However, I think families have been dealt a harsh hand in the general scheme of things. I say general because yes, there are some of us that have less-than-positive experiences with our families, but conversely, the same can apply for friends no? Okay, you might be wondering where I'm going with this. I recently re-met a cousin of mine, or perhaps the right word is rekindled, we went to the same high school, etc but our educational routes took different paths - she went to Dublin, I was in Staffordshire. Our mothers are friends, and wanted us to be friends naturally, and so she moved back to London and we decided to meet up.

Yes, I know this doesnt' happen for all, but it was so nice, especially as we had all this family history behind us, such that we were able to form a deep connection, almost seamlessly. Again, hard to separate whether this is just due to personality or not. The point is, I am now all for rediscovering friendship with family members. I think it is a good place to start, and if one does find a few cousins, aunties, uncles that share the same outlook on life, it can only help to deepen the relationship in a way that  I am not quite sure meeting a new acquaintance for the first time is able to do. 

I say this as I prepare to take my 9year old cousin to the woods for her class project on identifying flowers! That should be fun!

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To be the Best

Yes, the title was lifted from Barbara Taylor Bradford's novel. I remember this novel clearly. Well, not so much the content, but more from seeing it, taking pride of place on my mother's shelf in our home in Lagos. My mother introduced me to reading, she bought so many different books ranging from Enid Blyton's series to Rosamund Pilcher's The Shell Seekers (this was one of the most delicious books I read), Tangled Web, Jeffrey Archers, Sidney Sheldons, Danielle Steel and Raymond Chandler's novels, to Nigerian authors like Cyprian Ekwensi - we still have a much-thumbed Jagua Nana's daughter and May Ellen Ezekiel's books...remembering these bring happy feelings.

I did get to read BTB's To be the Best, when I was older and the thickness and size of the book was not as daunting anymore. I loved it and went on to read other books by BTB.  Yet what I remember, not so much from the story of Emma but through life is that one needs to be the best.

However, and going on from my earlier post on intelligence, one always has to question "What am I being the best for?" or perhaps "Who am I being the best for?". Answering these questions honestly can go a long way to having inner joy, happiness and fulfilment.

Let me explain. If you constantly strives to be the best that others want you to be, that will only leave you dissatisfied. Why, you might ask? Well, who are these others, how many are they, do they all want you to be the same thing? That is a lot of brain-work, and the time spent can be used more productively. There is nothing fundamentally bad about this, it is just a lot of work - I know this, I went through a little of this in secondary school and it was no fun.

The real happiness comes from self-awareness and  knowing yourself - the key thing is always "To thyself be true" - this means that one takes time to step back and evaluate who you are, what you want and how you want to go about it. Yes, it is important to get the viewpoints of a few select people whose opinions you trust and respect - however, once that is done, then the next step is to act - and that action is being.

This brings me into the being - to be the best. That is my quest for life. Not to be someone else's best, but to be the best that I can be. Life is not a competition, it is a journey and time spent comparing with others can only lead to unfulfillment due to being grossly dissatisfied, not to talk of many unnecessary insecurities that one might feel.

What then is the solution? Take time out to understand what you enjoy, what makes you tick, what makes you happy - select people around you that ring these positive feelings bit are also able to motivate/inspire you, and just act on what you enjoy. I read somewhere, that when you do what you enjoy, you become better at it, well then, when you constantly do that, you become your best that you can be.

And now, I am wondering how it is easy for me to type 583 words into this post in 5minutes, and why it takes me a month to write 5,000 words for my thesis!

* I try to keep my writings to about 500 words. I understand that this topic cannot be covered fully in 500 words, but this is just to give a flavour, I shall be returning to different aspects of the points mentioned here in future write-ups.

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The Road to Fitness

It was the end of the Arise Magazine Fashion Week in Lagos, and I was going through BellaNaija's website for pictures of the event, when I came across a picture of Alex Wek strolling and I thought, I love these legs - cue - putting the picture up on my BB status and asking "how can I get legs like these?"

Yes, my dear friends told me my legs were perfectly toned, etc and I am a bit of a fitness junkie, only a little bit, I promise. Then my cousin started talking about her 2.5 hrs gym sessions and I thought, no! That is too much, not optimal, and as we started to exchange ideas on what was optimal/not, some other friends asked similar questions about fitness, and "The Road to Fitness" BBM group (for now) was born. Our tag line is "on you marks, get set, Go!" and this will be the theme of the series: dispelling rumours, sharing best practices, quelling trepidation of exercise, getting the necessary fitness equipment and then going!

Fitness is a lifelong quest, a lifestyle change, not a 4week challenge, although it is good to set landmark goals, but more than anything, it is a commitment to live well, just like showering daily and brushing one's teeth are routine, regular exercise should be a part of our lives...

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The Road to Fitness

It was the end of the Arise Magazine Fashion Week in Lagos, and I was going through BellaNaija's website for pictures of the event, when I came across a picture of Alex Wek strolling and I thought, I love these legs - cue - putting the picture up on my BB status and asking "how can I get legs like these?"

Yes, my dear friends told me my legs were perfectly toned, etc and I am a bit of a fitness junkie, only a little bit, I promise. Then my cousin started talking about her 2.5 hrs gym sessions and I thought, no! That is too much, not optimal, and as we started to exchange ideas on what was optimal/not, some other friends asked similar questions about fitness, and "The Road to Fitness" BBM group (for now) was born. Our tag line is "on you marks, get set, Go!" and this will be the theme of the series: dispelling rumours, sharing best practices, quelling trepidation of exercise, getting the necessary fitness equipment and then going!

Fitness is a lifelong quest, a lifestyle change, not a 4week challenge, although it is good to set landmark goals, but more than anything, it is a commitment to live well, just like showering daily and brushing one's teeth are routine, regular exercise should be a part of our lives...

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The path to enlightenment

We all crave for something deeper, a meaning to life, some of us more than others. My interest in philosophy was piqued when I read Sophie's world at age 12. Then I started to ask more questions about why people acted the way they did, what drove their actions. Again, not so much the action in itself, but the reason for it.

Growing up, this curiosity remains, as evidenced in my full-time work on leadership. I have always been puzzled by some actions that we do as humans, especially actions that are not optimal for all, many examples exist, but I am convinced that many of us do not think through our actions before we act, because if we did, then perhaps, we would approach things from a different perspective, and possibly with more humility.

This brings me onto religion. It is very hard to study a lot of philosophy and to philosophise about things without contemplating one's belief systems and what they comprise of. Having been brought up as a Christian, this was initially a struggle, thinking, how is it possible to find enlightenment in other paths, how is it possible to truly be human, with full interaction with other humans. I guess what I am saying is that this journey to enlightenment hasn't been smooth. 

I took up yoga a while ago, moving on from Pilates which I started 5 years ago now, to a more holistic way of experiencing inner tranquillity, again one of my 'hiccups' was 'how did this tally with Christian doctrine?' Gradually, and thankfully I must say, I have come to the realisation that perhaps all of life is not black and white, as that would be reductionist. Rather, life occurs more in  shades, transitioning from the spectrum of fully black (again, depends on what you call black,, there is rich black, absolute black, pale black, etc*) to absolute white.

And I think accepting this and viewing life through these lenses provide a richer life experience, how you can fully know others and be fully known yourself. A life of openness, of humility, where one allows oneself to evolve, because we don't always know what we know, and we might know what we think we don't know.

Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing yourself is enlightenment - Taoism

*I am painting my flat now, and it has been interesting to find out not just how many different colours there are, but the ingenious names that paint-makers have given to the colours!

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Intelligence, growing up, school, reality

I saw the Best Exotic Hotel Marigold last weekend with a friend of mine, and if you can excuse the over-used stereotypes of India, it was a funny movie and the heavy duty cast of Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Maggie Smith etc definitely added to high expectations of delivery, and that it did. Afterwards, as one does, we went to hers for tea and conversation touched on so many different topics, as it tends to do, and I remember she mentioned something that I had been thinking about for a while - intelligence.

Yes, okay, maybe I live and breathe intelligence, seeing as my PhD is on Intelligent Leadership, but this was about something different. Can you remember when you were in Primary school and there was always that clamour for who would be the first in class, or first three (I say Primary school as that is when I became aware of educational competition, I mean, what would you compete for in Nursery school educationally? I don't know but my memory of rankings start from primary 3).

And how even if you were always 'first' in class in primary school, moving onto secondary school and a different pool of people with different intelligences meant that perhaps first place was not that easily attainable anymore, or even no longer attainable at all. Fast forward into university with an even more diverse pool who have been selected nationally or internationally (depending on the university) and the results become more interesting - particularly in how those who originally came in the top ten position at primary school/secondary school had to come to the realisation that they were no longer the brainy's in class.

Now, translate this into the working world, where ambition and the pressures of growing up have added to the burning desire to succeed and the pool of success becomes even more concentrated. Or does it?

I guess it depends on what one measures as success, and I shall not go into the different meanings of success and how that is different from happiness, or maybe it isn't, because to be truly successful, one ought to be truly happy - but that is another conversation for another time. The point here is ranking, peer-to-peer rankings and how those change over time.

Yet what  I find reassuring is that in some people, those rankings never change, they consistently outperform their peers throughout educational and career lives - yes they might have to work harder, but that burning desire to be the best that they can, is what I like.

And this is where our  conversation on this topic ended - that the most important thing is not how high you rank compared to your peers/friends (although it remains human to do so), but it is how well one consistently puts in one's best. I guess that is the true challenge - to be the best, you can be.

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The Taurean Female

 I do not believe in astrology, well, if by astrology one means reading of horoscopes weekly to find out how the week would pan out. I used to read them when I was younger but found that they more or less said the same thing for all the other star signs, and that the predictions could be interpreted in so many different ways that it seemed to me that the

Today's Taurus horoscope reads: "Though part of you might be content to let sleeping dogs lie, another part may need to make contact with someone who's played a powerful role in the past and who has expressed the hope that you'll meet up again soon. Though your respective schedules may get in the way, pencilling in a date is likely. It's possible too that a friend born under Aquarius will ask for your opinion on a family dilemma."

Today's Scorpio horoscope reads: "Though considered one of the more 'emotional' signs of the zodiac, you are more than capable of exercising a logical brain when needed. So, today, you could help those who can't see eye to eye to focus on the desired outcome and arrive at consensus. It won't be surprising if your professionalism is remarked on. It's likely too that your actions will save money: possibly bringing a bonus your way? "

I mean it is all about reconciliation at the end of it. But I digress....I think there is something written in the stars as the writeup below is clearly spot on - basic guide to Adun 101. I repeat basic....guide...101. Just as a starting point....

Yes I am Taurean.

-----------------------

When you come across a Taurus female, the first thing you will notice about her is her undefeatable emotional strength. She is capable of handling the severest of problems, without shedding even a single tear. She has the infamous Taurus temper, but it is seldom displayed. Atleast not until the provocation is too much to digest. She is as feminine as any other female, without the unnecessary tantrums. A Taurus woman has no desire of dominating her husband (guys take note. Not a competition). She will let him handle the reins, infact this is what she secretly desires.

A Taurus woman wants a real man, who can make her proud of himself as much as she is proud of herself. However, if he fails in his role, she will take the control in her own hands. Neither will she act like a mewing kitten, nor like a roaring lioness. She is independent and has a mind of her own, but she does not want to dominate in the relationship. Taurean women do not see social status while making their friends. They want to be friends with people who do not hide their true nature and come across as they really are.

Their friends may be a little weird (only a little?), but they will not be phonies or hypocrites. A Taurus girl doesn't fight with people she dislikes, she simply ignores them and becomes indifferent to their presence (too true...it is almost as though my brain deletes them). However, she will be loyal to her true friends and they will remain with her throughout her life. In return, she will expect them to stand by her when she needs them. A Taurean woman also gets jealous, but only if you exceed the limits of casual flirtation. Everything has a limit and this also does. It's better not to provoke her anger or you will be very sorry (very, extremely, sorry).

She is brainy, but not too much interested in intellectual subjects (here they are not talking about Adun. Again I said basic guide 101...so I am obviously interested in intellectual subjects) She is practical in her thinking and does not feel the need to indulge in mental gymnastics (I love mental gymnastics - my friends have come up with another name for this, less PC, email me if you want to know). She is balanced in her approach and you will hardly see her in a restless disposition. A Taurean girl hates anything artificial, be the flowers in her vase or the friends in her life. She has to feel the fragrance of real roses and the presence of real people. The beauty of Mother Nature especially pleases her (totally spot on here).

Ugliness of any kind makes her miserable and repulsive. She loves to be amidst colourful surroundings, like gardens blooming with flowers. A Taurean female has a good taste, so please be very careful before taking her out. She is a very good cook herself and you will always be treated to excellent homemade food. She is also very much interested in the art forms, like painting. She is a tomboy at heart and will enjoy many guy-things like horse riding, going on a roller coaster ride, fishing, etc (oui!oui!oui!).

All this makes her feel close to nature. She dresses simply, yet elegantly and her fabrics are always feather-soft (again, spot on). Taurus female is very strong and above the usual female insecurities. However, she demands loyalty and will never compromise in this area. She is beyond hypocrisy and has an undemanding and easy-going manner. She wants her man to take her side, especially in public. If he contradicts her in front of other people, expect the temperature to reach beyond the boiling point (this is important. it is imperative).

When pushed too far, she loses her cool demeanour quickly. Taurus women make excellent mothers, except for the fact that they cannot tolerate disobedience or defiance in kids. Laziness and carelessness also makes them angry. Otherwise, they will be more of a friend to their children than the typical mommies. A Taurus woman will also teach the kids how to be strong and will protect them from the big bad outside world. She never shirks from or whines about her responsibilities. Her man will be expected to do the same.

She can also bear endless pain and stress, without complaining for a single minute. She is good with finances (er...on the path there...)and knows how to maintain quality in a reasonable budget. She is a very good host and will be there to help her man in any and every way she can. A Taurean woman will care for you when you are ill, will back you in your new business venture and let you take over the control of the home. And, you will always be treated to a warm, cosy home when you come back from office!

http://www.iloveindia.com/astrology/sun-signs/taurus/woman.html

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Pop Champagne.....why?

Randomly considering tweaking this blog a little to make it more graphic, but a part of me does not want to. I like to keep this clean and minimalist. For pictures, quotes and other randoms, see http://adunola.tumblr.com/

Yesterday, I was leafing through my intelligent life magazine and I always love the ads, I like the attention to detail,  for example there was this ad on Dom Perignon, I loved the cut and etchings on the bottle, the colours used and the entire page just had this feel of class and good taste. All very well. I guess the bottle of champagne registered somewhere in my psyche.

I went for my morning run today. Well okay it was more like mid-day run as I went to bed quite late last night and so woke up not very early; but I was determined to go running, and running I went. I have an interesting running playlist on my ipod. I say it is interesting because it is a combination of sorts, going from the instrumental  (Omar Bashir's oud is always delightful) to the old (Janet Jackson's Pleasure Principle, anyone), to the rock (Afterlife Avenged Sevenfold), to the rap/rnb music combo (Pop Champagne by movado). Actually I am not quite sure what genre Pop Champagne falls under but there you go.

For the first time ever, and I have had this track for quite a while, I was paying close attention to the lyrics. Think it was more to do with being at the end of my 45minutes run and needing to concentrate and focus, seeing as other distractions (PhD on Africa/Nigeria or global?, shopping list, how to be a better person, to-do list, etc) were not working. I decided to concentrate on the lyrics to the song. And it made so much sense finally.

The reason is because I have been wondering why in Nigeria there is a preoccupation with popping champagne at parties and clubs; and also where the trend came from. I understand the need to flaunt wealth, okay maybe I don't but to each his own, but I don't understand the need to pop bottles of champagne as a marker of a particular status. I mean, to impress your boys, attract girls, but champagne is not for that sort of consumption. It should be celebratory and consumed in a way that appreciates the delicacy with which it has been made. 

Anyways, listening to Movado's Pop Champagne remix made me realise the trend. So it is to 'copy' American RnB stars who sing about popping champagne and having champagne rain in the club as a way to impress their friends and attract girls. 

And apparently it works. I guess the makers of Moet & Chandon, Veuve clicquot and Dom Perignon must be happy that they have such a huge market in Nigeria, even if the style of consumption doesn't quite fit with the general champagne etiquette.

I guess we all learn everyday. I constantly learn that different elements in the world, hitherto and seemingly unrelated - Dom Perignon ad in The Economist, Intelligent life; Adun's morning run, Movado, Nigerian clubs - can have common strands, "popping champagne". And it is in this seeming randomness that we constantly experience life.

Enjoy the random!

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Music, the food to my soul ...O Fortuna

I was feeling very down today and unable to focus. I cannot really explain why, I guess these moods sometimes happen to the best of us. I have a deadline in the next few weeks, so obviously I need to study and concentrate. I usually play classical music or cafe-ish music. 

Unfortunately, Ray La Montagne, Sade and Morcheeba were not really helping my concentration/focus, and so I switched to classical music which I find relaxing and uplifting and edifying. But it wasn't working, although I persuaded myself to persevere. About forty minutes later, still unable to focus while trying very hard to, O Fortuna comes up! And it lifted my mood totally. Now I can concentrate. Now I can focus. Now I want to go jogging and pounding those pavements endlessly playing it in my head over and over and over and over again, because I feel like I can conquer!

This just goes to show how powerful the mind is, nothing has changed in my circumstance. I am still in the same position, BUT I am now happier. Mood is entirely lifted....The power of the mind. Everything is all in the mind. Now back to O Fortuna.

It is a very popular composition, but timeless and evidently full of impact.... I have placed the English subtitles and a link to the song below. 

Music indeed is very powerful. LoveMusic, Love Life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GD3VsesSBsw

O Fortune,

variable
as the moon,
always dost thou
wax and wane.
Detestable life,
first dost thou mistreat us,
and then, whimsically,
thou heedest our desires.
As the sun melts the ice,
so dost thou dissolve
both poverty and power.

Monstrous
and empty fate,
thou, turning wheel,
art mean,
voiding
good health at thy will.
Veiled
in obscurity,
thou dost attack
me also.
To thy cruel pleasure
I bare my back.

Thou dost withdraw
my health and virtue;
thou dost threaten
my emotion
and weakness
with torture.
At this hour,
therefore, let us
pluck the strings without
delay.
Let us mourn together,
for fate crushes the brave.

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Fuel Subsidy, Strikes, Protest, Nigeria

Much has been written about the fuel subsidy, strike action, protests and the many incompetencies of the government. One might wonder, "why write anything more about the issue?" or even, "is there anything else that can be written?". My rationale: the same events give rise to different understandings and interpretations.

This is what happened. I was due to fly back to London on January 10. The flights of the previous day had taken off, and so I didn't think that my flight would be affected, or at the very worst, maybe it would be delayed a little bit. We prepared for any roadblocks by leaving the house extremely early. Too early I thought, but as I got the airport and saw my fellow passengers already there, I realised that my mother's caution was not unwarranted. 

To cut a long story short, my flight got cancelled as the flight crew was not allowed to get to the airport (they were in their uniforms apparently, so no prizes for guessing how easily the protesters could identify them - Virgin Atlantic, take note) , we were offered hotel accommodation or the chance to go home. I chose not to take the hotel accommodation. 

Rather, a few of us decided to spend the day together until it was time for our flight. Now, we were 7 and later became 8. Why is this number crucial? Well because, between the 7 of us, even though some of us agreed with the fuel subsidy removal, some disagreed with it. And within this small group, there was no consensus as to the best way that the subsidy could have been removed, the reasons for the subsidy, the policy making powers of the government, the role of the government and the role of the private sector, and on whether the subsidy would lead to increased unemployment. There were only 7 of us, and we pride ourselves on being the educated, the enlightened. Yet we were not enlightened enough to rationally understand what was happening. Or perhaps we were and just wanted to disagree. I think not. 

I think that yes we were working with limited information, yes we were in agreement over general things like the Nigerian government is corrupt, but when it came to the finer details, there became a 'my voice is the loudest' as opposed to 'my argument is the most sound'. If it happens within such a small group, one wonders how our National Assembly is able to make any decisions (assuming that they are as educated. note difference between educated and intelligent).

Now, my opinion, the subsidy had to be removed, however I disagree with timing (New Year's day present) and manner of removal, especially within a developing economy as Nigeria where there is no welfare provided by the government, where most businesses are SMEs, where the minimum wage is N16,000 (£64) a month. Particularly as the government largesse and ostentatious consumption continues. The removal of the subsidy in this way is at best, evil and ill-informed.

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from Nigeria with love

So I have been in Nigeria for a week now. Well, technically, it will be a week tomorrow. Or is it on friday? I don't know. You get the gist. And it is always nice coming back. The first couple of hours before take-off are spent reminiscing on how I left Lagos/Ibadan and what might one find that has changed there (don't assume nothing changes, you might just be surprised. Although in this case, nothing has changed as such, but then this is still week one, so maybe just maybe there might be a pleasant infrastructural surprise. I shan't be holding my breath for that though).

I said the last couple of hours before take-off are spent reminiscing. This is not correct in this case as I hadn't really packed before departure day. I need about a month to pack, well okay, just to compile my lists and then pack. But departure day (d-day) started in Guildford where I had a course, and then train delays, etc delayed my getting home and then I remembered I hadn't purchased all that I had to, cue scurrying around Muswell Hill and then finally all was purchased and I had to get them all into my suitcases. A daunting, unpleasant task. Luckily I had a friend come help me pack! Thank you friend!!!

What all this delaying meant was that I could not shop to my heart's content at duty-free...sigh. exasperation. annoyance and I forgot to buy chocolates! I mean, who does that!!! Anyways, I am now in Nigeria...whoopie! and enjoying everything - the simple life is bliss.

I'm hoping to be a semi-proficient polo player by the end of the month, so been riding every morning for 2hours since I got here, and one thing I love the most is the relaxed approach to riding. In London, everything is so rules-based and so 'cautious' that it feels almost robotic. But here, I am enjoying Overa (horsie), big thanks to B who is showing me the reins, literally! 

I have also been reading (not my PhD work, I am giving myself a week's break - which by now is almost over!) but read Helena Frith Powell's Love in a Warm Climate - very chic lit, very easy read. Done and dusted in a day and a half. And now onto F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby....started yesterday and almost through - it is what you call delicious writing...amazing!

Yes! now in Lagos, and who knows what the week will hold. All I know, and hope is that it will entail a lot of laughing and drinking and dancing and laughing and drinking and laughing and and and and friends :-) 

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The yingyang of our life (years)

I saw this post on a friend's facebook page and I thought to title it the yingyang of our life (years). Enjoy!

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things , but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose to read this insight, or to just ignore...

author unknown.

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Waugh, Naipaul, Mitford

So I spent most of my weekend buried in Julian Fellowes' Snobs. The end of the second series of Downton Abbey had made me thirsty for more satirical insight into the life of the English upperclass, and Snobs delivered although it was slightly disappointing, but I finished it in 6 hours. Very happy.

Church was spent talking about the works of Evelyn Waugh. Actually, it was an after church discussion. My pastor didn't preach his sermon on Waugh I promise. Now, I very much like fabulous literary works but the thing is there just is not enough time. So this morning I thought to spend some time reading about Waugh's life, and is it colorful? What I find amazing is that even though he was thought of as a snobbish misanthrope, he had a wide net of friends that loved him and that he was generous to. And then I started to think about life, really and truly, what is most important - to be admired by all, or to be loved by a few?

Naturally, I went into reading about Nancy Mitford, and briefly VS Naipaul. I want to read all their works. All of them. Anyone that can tell me how to read all the books I want to read as quickly as possible and still carry on my day job will have me indebted to him/her for life.

Ideally, it is nice to be loved by all, but I dare say that is not possible. In the first instance, it is just too much work cultivating deep friendships with everyone. So did people like Waugh get it right, to be dismissive of many and loved by very few? Is that perhaps the best way? I do not know. I know that one should try as much as possible to be as good to everyone around them, but there are times when it really is too much work. Yet, social life is that much more enjoyable when one has acquaintances to share random experiences with.

As Fellowes wrote and I paraphrase, while real true friendship is harder  work, ,  "...it is in acquaintanceship, with its delicious dinners and comfortable wkends with no real intimacy, no responsibility that the greatest charm of social intercourse lies."

Maybe there is a need for some sort of truce, identifying the very few that are of utmost importance/significance to one's life- although this is in itself a fluid concept; and being of generally pleasant  social disposition.

Or maybe it is all too much hardwork. Who cares about others anyway?

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Let's dance in a trance

For some reason, I am updating this blog regularly. While I feel, "ah yes, Adun's random thought processes are somewhat weaving a pattern that need to be captured on this page", I cannot help but feel that it is more to do with neglecting my 10,000 words that are due next week. Yes, you got that right. 10K words due next week and I am reading. Last week I read the unputdownable CS Lewis' The Screwtape Letters. This week, I am finishing up  Graham Greene's End of the Affair. Now I do have the 10,000 words. Actually I think I have more than 15,000words. The problem is cutting it down, and editing. It will get done. It has to.

I digress. This is meant to be more about tranceation. You know, think Massive Attack's Mezzanine (link below), or anything by Zero 7, especially Ghost Symbol. Okay, no more trances. Although dancing to this music is very rejuvenating. I digress yet again!!!

Okay now. Back to dancing. Well, the first question is Who am I? What do I exist in, or exist as? How do I form my thoughts? How do I accept these thoughts, and think about how these thoughts that inevitably always guides my actions? Who we are, is the inner being, the  compass that directs and guides the physical. It is very powerful, and very true.

I have just returned from a Leadership seminar where Mike George spoke about Spiritual Intelligence, which is the ability to be detached from emotions. I really liked his presentation, not least because it was nice to hear what I believe and to understand that it is desirable to reach that 'higher state of being' of detachment. Not because one is emotion-less or emotionally crippled; but because one has learnt to view happenings in life as events, instances, that arise in the journey of life. To that extent, it is all fluid. Everything is fluid. Things come and things go. People come and people go. Time changes. Happy times and sad.

What then does this mean? It does not mean that one goes about cocooned in some sort of robotic armour that shields emotions away, but more about understanding what brings those emotions, why they come about, and choosing to react to them rationally. Emotions are hardly ever rational. They just happen.

Now, what does this have to do with being in a trance. Well, being at peace with oneself, and being one with one's self (true self) has to be from within. Inner. That inner consciousness that transcends all. Looking within takes more time and effort than looking after the physical, although this is more to do with the fact that we are brought up to spend a huge amount of time on our physical - fashion, appearance, exercise, etc. The inner self  needs the same attention. And it is that ability to reflect - that helps to put things in context, and that helps to be detached. And that helps to see from a better perspective. A higher plane of consciousness that brings peace.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMaFdblx7Fg

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